I'm So Tired: A GenCon Tale, part 2 1.0

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Part 2: The Part Where You Face Three Other Trolls at Once

Willkommen, Lords and Ladies of Thrones!

In case you missed it, be sure to check out Part 1 of the report, which covers the joust.

Part 2 promises to be even more exciting than the first! Read on for five crazy melee match recaps, chock full of backstabbing and dealmaking. You might even get to see two or three of your favorite podcast hosts in action...at once! Hope you enjoy.

Before we begin, I need to highlight two extremely important conversations I had with Britt Fitch earlier in the convention.

The first took place just after we heard a unified cheer go up from one of the nearby FFG events, X-wing or something. This was hardly the first time we’d seen a meta in matching t-shirts put their hands in and ra-ra-on-three (see my CT regional report). I cynically remarked that “Team Boston” needs an official cheer. “What would it be? Team Boston…” And then, in perfect unison, Britt and I said, “Fuck off.”

There you have it, the Team Boston cheer. The Masshole factor is strong.

The other important conversation was about my melee deck. I was lamenting the fact that A) I was so tired, B) I didn’t have a melee deck built, C) I was too tired to think about designing a melee deck, and D) I was really, really tired. Britt offered to pass along his list. Apparently, Lauren had created it, and the two of them had shared it with a whole bunch of east coasters. It was a super trollfest. Sounds good to me.

Troll to Win, it was called. One card stood out as more important than any other, and that was Dracarys. That card proved to be the single greatest bargaining chip I’ve ever had in melee, 1.0 or 2.0. Other than that, it had a bit of potential for speed, with Randyll, Waking the Dragon, Informants, and King Viserys. It also trolled hard with Fortified, Margaery, and Crown of Gold. Overall, it was flexible, fun, and could make friends or piss people off in a hurry. I enjoyed playing it all day.

My only changes from the list Britt sent me were to drop a Fire and Blood and replace Confiscation with Heads on Spikes.

In a stunning turn of events, the tournament started late and featured another round of musical chairs. I filled the time chatting with a bunch of other folks playing the Fitch deck, including the Rosarios and Matt G. There was going to be some serious dragonfire flying around.

I also revealed my secret tech: chocolate-covered peanuts. I was joking that I would set the candy in the center of my melee tables and say that everybody could partake...for now.

Apologies if any details are wrong.

ROUND 1 - Ethan (Tyrell Crossing?), Martell/Wolf Buddy, Greyjoy Crossing Speedster

I forgot to take a note on names for this round. I apologize! As we sat down, I immediately made an effort to divert attention from me, pointing out the tremendous speed Greyjoy Crossing is capable of. I also pretended to not know how melee titles are selected, just to make myself look more innocent. Heh heh heh.

This is, without a doubt, my favorite part of melee: acting. Just like in poker, what you represent is so much more important than what you actually have on the board or in your hand. I’m not sure my experience as an actor on stage helps with this, but it certainly can’t hurt.

Anyway, it was easy to paint a target on the Greyjoy player, as he played all three Iron Mines. “We’re going to need to work together to stop him from winning.” I also bluffed having a Drac all game, which kept everybody off of me. Greyjoy was out to an early lead, so Martell and Tyrell started siphoning power off of him. Ethan eventually sent an intrigue challenge my way, trying to fish out the Drac. I let it go (I didn’t have one, but I “thought about” Drac-ing for a minute anyway), and used this as an excuse to hit Ethan back. He was the other player I was worried about, as he had a decent amount of power and a fast deck. Martell never had the big characters to make a push, so I kept him on my good side. Didn’t want to have to defend weenie challenges.

By plot three, I was ready to rock and roll. I had a huge board with Illyrio, Randy and Marge, et al. and a Khal, Drac, and Waking in hand. I felt confident I could close from 7 power or so. I won initiative with Clash, textbook. I assumed I’d see Tyrell with Tourney for the King and Greyjoy with Rise, and Martell didn’t have closing potential. Neither Greyjoy nor Tyrell threw their closer plots, if I remember right, so I made myself last. By the time things rolled around to me, I had plenty of holes to plunge through, hitting 15 and incidentally pulling Martell buddy up to 2nd in the process.

Quick note on Clash of Kings: this is a tremendous defensive card in melee, especially if your opponent doesn’t think you can close. Your opponents don’t want to risk losing power on offense.

1st, 15 points

Again, plenty of time between rounds. I had my first conversation of the day with Roy Rogers from NYC and of White Book/Second Sons fame. I’d run into him a few times at New England tournaments, but it was really great to chat about Thrones and such over the course of the convention. He has an infectious enthusiasm for the game and the community, and he’s always cheering people on. Thanks, Roy!

At this point, Roy was frustrated, having barely lost at 14 power in his first game. “I just want to take a melee table,” he said.

“You’ll win one. Keep at it, bud.”

ROUND 2 - Matt Gehman (Troll to Win), John Briggs (Stark/Rose), Seth Lowe (Chris Schoenthal’s Lanni/Dragon, literally)

Seth hopped into the melee about 12 seconds before it started, using Chris’ championship joust deck (with sharpie dick-butt art added to the cards post-victory). Amazing. The presence of this joust deck at the table threw a huge wrench in works.

I was happy to have a chance to congratulate Seth on his joust performance. He seemed genuinely taken aback that I wasn’t being sarcastic! Second in a field of 200+ is nothing to sniff at, and to do that time and again is even more of an accomplishment. He’ll get that win eventually.

Anyway, this was an absolutely amazing game. Seth opened Naval, of course, nailing my Noble Cause. Well, I was due to get crushed by one after my joust run. I believe John was hit, too. Matt smartly led with Fortified, which was fine by me. In general, the Targ/Rose likes a 4-plot game rather than a two-plot game. Let’s keep things slow and set up those combos. Also, getting hit by Naval wasn’t the worst, because I didn’t look threatening at all, and the mutually assured destruction of Dracarys would prevent me from being a punching bag.

John jumped out to a ton of power right off the bat, so we all knocked him down a peg. So much so that Matt had to remind us to lay off, lest John become too easy an option for unopposed or shift into pure spoiler mode. This left Matt in great position, with Dany, Illyrio, Dragons, Khal, etc. Seth had a strong board as well, though he obviously wasn’t very fast. I had built up okay, with Khal, Illyrio, Jorah, and Dragons, just a Dany short of Matt’s board, really. I was made to go early in the round for the first two turns, so I mostly picked my spot for an unopposed or power challenge win, left guys standing, and took dom while I built up and threatened Drac. I think I played my own Fortified, as well.

A big shift came when Seth put Matt’s Dany to the Sword. “Joust deck in melee, baby!” Ah, dangers of looking like you’re winning. Just like that, my board was looking pretty good, and I had a Dany of my own in hand.

Penultimate turn (4?), I won initiative with Clash (I think John threw Clash but had more power) and made myself third, with Seth going last. My reasoning was that I would have a slightly better pick from the title pool and Seth couldn’t win. I believe I ended up with the Hand of the King (two power challenges) which was great. We talked challenge phase through, and convinced John that he couldn’t win, but he could grab some power off of Seth while leaving bodies up for defense. Seth sold him on the idea of a Wildfire evening out the boards and making things wide open for everybody next turn. I was okay with this for...reasons. You will see. I thought Matt might have been able to close if he had the right events. He made a challenge or two, but then passed. Evidently, he just didn’t have what he needed, finishing with 12 or so.

Over to me. At this point, we were like three minutes from time. A crowd had gathered since we were the last table, and everybody was within striking distance of victory. I had to very quickly ascertain whether there was any way I could hit 15 or not. Seth was pushing to finish the turn and play another. My math said I could hit 14 (after gaining 5 through renown, two from a power challenge and one from rival power), maybe 15 with dom, but then Seth would realize it and swing Mirri at me. Pretty sure I wouldn’t have made it. I told Seth I just wanted to hit 13. He said sure, swing at me, I’ll let it go unopposed. Okay. I swing with just Drogo, going up to 13 and leaving enough standing to prevent a Mirri trigger. I think Seth grabbed an unopposed power or two (maybe triggered Mirri on Matt? All I remember is him promising John that he would “Mirri the shit” out of Matt, haha!), and bounced his Hound. I took dom (putting me at 14), and we ended the round with seconds to spare. There would be one more turn.

“Here comes that Wildfire boys! Here it comes! Joust deck!

“I’m ready for your Wildfire. I’ve got something special for you, too, Seth!”

I flipped Heads on Spikes. John had no cards. Matt sat on 5 gold last turn.

“Well, I know you bounced that Hound. Let’s see what you’ve got, bud.” I pulled the Hound.

To quote Pepe le Pew in the greatest movie ever made, (Space Jam, duh): “Muah. Two points.”

Apparently, I had a 75% chance of hitting a character in Seth’s hand.

1st, 30 points total

After that 90-minute slugfest, I had just moments before pairings were posted again.

ROUND 3 - James Booker (Tyrell Wolf?), Lauren Fitch (Troll to Win!), Roy Rogers (Tyrell Crossing)

Getting paired with a couple of friends when you’re already in the cut and you’re playing a troll-y deck? Yeah that’s a recipe for fun.

I had an early Dracarys and fine position, but couldn’t get much power since I was going early in the round. James jumped out to the early lead, with Roy close behind. When James swung power at Lauren with the Knight of Flowers, Lauren and I combined our dragon fire to burn Loras. Roy saw an opening after that, and closed super fast against James’ weakened board, using Tourney for the King and an Informant for tons of power. There ya go, Roy!! Yes!

3rd, 31 points total

I made the cut around 10th place? And so did Roy! We high-fived and ogled our playmats and had a grand old time.

TOP 16 - Keb Frith (Bara/Lion), Michael Lamezec (Targ Crossing w/ bloodriders), Roy Rogers (Tyrell Crossing)

I commented that this was a no-lose game. I’d be happy for new friends Roy or Keb to win, and while I didn’t know Michael at the start of the game, he was king of swiss. I was just glad to continue playing.

Michael had an early wall of dudes, including multiple bloodriders. Keb had Party Bob with Lightbringer and the Mountain. Roy had a solid assortment of knights. I had a Margaery with Seal and triple duped Randyll. Basically, it was very even, with lots of bigs. Everybody was careful, very careful. Roy traded me a comet for drac protection at the end of the first turn, but I think that was one of the only deals made at this table. It was played pretty straight. Michael was the talker. But collectively, the table was wary of pushing too hard or making enemies.

The start of round three saw all of us in the 6 (me) to 8 (Keb) power range, I believe. I could have gone up to 7 power by the end of round 2, but chose to sit and win dom, leaving me with the fewest at 6. This meant my Clash was good to win initiative. I polled the table for opinions, just sussing out who thought they could close. Michael really wanted to go last, so I made him first. Michael, then Keb, then Roy, then Me.

Quick aside: Poor Keb just kept saying how nervous he was! But he played great!

All right, so Michael is able to get up to 13, I believe. It could have been 14 but he had forgotten a renown on Jorah early in the game. I missed it, or I would have reminded him. If it was joust, I’d have said “take it” but I feel bad putting two other players in a situation where they feel they need to allow a take back. Maybe Michael could have closed if he had remembered? I think my drac on his Jorah would have kept that from happening, though.

Keb couldn’t quite close either. Renown on Bob and the Mountain, rival power, and regular power shot him up to 13 or so, as well. We all dodged a Mountain bullet (or in melee, shotgun shell).

I think Roy was playing for next turn, here. Swinging at Michael with two power challenges. He knelt most of his board and shot up to 12 or so.

Now me. Remember, I’m only sitting at six power. Jorah and Randyll (able to stand) are my visible renown characters. It definitely did not look like I could win here, which is why I think everybody was okay with swinging for the fences. As it was, I did my math about ten times. I had a Drac in hand for any shenanigans, a Waking the dragon, and a Superior Claim. Roy was my rival. After a couple of minutes, I said, out loud, “I think I can do this.”

“Do what?” Michael asked.

I really shouldn’t have said that out loud. It put everybody on alert. But it didn’t end up mattering.

Power at Roy with Randyll, Michael drac’d him down to 1 STR, I drac’d Roy’s defender to make it unopposed. I stood Randy and came in with him and Jorah on military. 6 power to start + 3 renown + 2 unopposed + 2 claim + 1 rival power = 14. Waking the Dragon on Jorah for a final renown on an intrigue challenge brought me to 15.

On to the finals! What?!

PS: Michael gave us an awesome set of house cards, with the house sigils done in cups of coffee. So cool! Thanks so much, man!

GENCON 2016 MELEE FINALS:

Ser Gregory Atkinson (Lanni/Wolf)

Jon “Darknoj” Andrews (Tyrell Crossing)

Patrick “Baby Blue” Haynes (Stark/Rose)

And me, a scrubbish, gangly hippy from NH who entered this thing to troll people with Dracarys.

Oh baby. Go get your popcorn and settle in, folks. This was a good one. Plus, we had a technical issue with filming, so this might be the best recap you’re going to get.

As I sat down across from multiple-world champs and Gencon champs and podcast hosts and great players, I was nothing but excited. I felt like an annoying little puppy nuzzling against the ankles of giants.

Remember those chocolate-covered peanuts? I set those in the middle of the table and offered them up as a bribe. That joke fell pretty flat. Nobody wanted peanuts.

I guess this was some serious business now!

The game was preceded by 18 straight minutes of Noj telling us how he was going to open Naval, and Patrick and Greg betting gold tokens that he wouldn’t. I just enjoyed the banter. I knew I was opening Fortified anyway. I was going to throw it at some point this game, and initiative turn one is the least important.

Greg played Varys’ Riddle to Noble from Jon and Clash from Pat. Pat made Jon first player (me second, Greg third, Pat last). That told me he wanted to close the turn way ahead, which is interesting in and of itself. Definitely a red flag.

Jon offered the table a comet to trade. My offer of “No Drac this turn” earned me two cards. I’m sure Jon was happy to give two cards to the player he thought the least of, as well. Fine with me. Besides, I didn’t have Drac in hand, and I wanted to spend all of my gold this turn. I got a little bit of pleasure (and maybe earned some cache with Greg and Pat) showing the table I never planned to Drac anybody this turn anyway.

My first turn left me with Rhaegal, Jorah, and Viserion and chuds. I also played an essential Shadowblack Lane. Greg had Tywhine and QuickE Stark; Pat had a QuickE with a Blackfish (ew?); and Noj plopped down a Loras and Mance Rayder.

I played pretty conservatively. Snuck through an unopposed intrigue to trigger Shadowblack. I searched through those ten cards, praying for….got it. I took a full 45 seconds or so to wave the Dracarys in front of everybody’s faces. I was mostly left unmolested after that.

My three esteemed opponents traded little jabs that first turn, each gaining 1-3 power. I took dom to keep pace.

Turn two, I used Calling (Pat had six characters) as did Pat. Greg copied Calling with another Varys’ Riddle. I can’t remember what Jon played here, sorry gang. I do know that I was made first player, selecting Master of Laws for the second turn in a row. I had all of the cards I could want, that’s for sure.

Margaery and Dany hit the table for me. “Going wide!” Noj said, trying to make me look stronger than I was. “I have by far the weakest board position,” I said. I also had Drac. Greg dropped a Mountain, Pat followed with even more knights, and Jon had a Margaery to add. Big boards all around.

I was again able to sneak through an unopposed intrigue to kick things off, this time standing Dany, getting insight, and triggering Shadowblack again hoping for….yep, got it. I spent a good three or four minutes waving my second Drac in front of everybody’s faces. “No character on this board is safe now,” Greg observed. That’s right, sir. And don’t you forget it.

I believe I snuck through an unopposed power challenge with a chud on Greg to put me on 6 after my challenges, with a mostly standing board and gold for two Dracs. Greg shot up to 8 or so (and killed my Viserion off a Mountain trigger); then Pat siphoned a bit off and got up to 9ish with a Lady Sansa’s Rose; then Darknoj had easier pickings and comboed Street of Sisters, renown, and a Superior Claim to hit 11. I took dom, leaving me with 7.

I had to discard to reserve here and pitched Khal Drogo of all things.

I was feeling pretty good about my plot selection here. Greg was too far away to close, and with a small board I was sniffing Wildfire from him. Noj needed to throw the knight plot. Pat had already thrown Clash, but maybe he was running two? If so, I still had initiative due to my lower power total.

My Clash gave me choice, against Wildfire and Tourney, as predicted. The game was likely ending one way or another, and the only way I could win was to go last. So that’s what I did. If the game made it all the way around to me, I could definitely win, as I had a Superior Claim and a Waking in my hand, and a seal for Dany. I Wildfire’d away Margaery to draw three with Funeral Pyre, getting a second Waking in the process.

Plus, I wound up getting the Hand of the King title. I just had to have a chance at challenges.

Greg led off hammering me for two-claim military. I think his title led him to do that (rivals!) but I needed to do a better job convincing him to attack Jon, or at least defend against Jon. As it was, he succeeded only in killing my Jorah and claiming a Rhaegal dupe, and he still couldn’t close.

There was a funny moment where Jon suspected Greg of having a Superior Claim. Greg promised he didn’t, and that he could only hit 13. “When have I ever lied, Jon?” I said, “If he is lying about having the Superior Claim to force this challenge through and win right now, he probably deserves to win the melee.” That earned a little smile from Greg, and my insides tingled. He wasn’t lying, ultimately.

Pat was convinced that I could decide the game with Dracarys, but as I told the table, I would only use them if he was about to win. Stop before 15 and you’re fine. He knelt out a bunch of his board, got up to 12 or so, and left some defenders.

Jon’s turn. And what neither Pat, Greg, nor I considered was that with +2 from Crossing and +3 from Margaery, I couldn’t burn Jon’s Mance. Greg had knelt out his board on attack, leaving Jon a with a free military and power challenge. That was the game. Agh.

Now, I’ve replayed this last turn in my head a fair few times since then, trying to see how I might have been able to win. I needed Greg to have left defenders standing. If either QuickE or Tywhine had been up for Jon’s challenges, I think I can win that game. I simply missed my opportunity, and learned my lesson: don’t be afraid to sweet talk Greg Atkinson.

Congrats, Noj! You are quite the smoothie. Well done!

What a roller coaster of a GenCon! I had a fantastic time, despite being absolutely exhausted by the end of it. Best of all, I finally earned my acrylic Iron Throne First Player Token. (“It’s sure to hit the table every time.” What the fuck does that even mean, FFG?) I hung around for a while, decompressed, and watched some drafting. It was a great atmosphere, with everybody excited about the new cards. Can’t wait to partake myself when it releases. I said my goodbyes, and we drove back to NH all day Sunday and into early Monday.

Quick thoughts on the deck:

-Obviously Dracarys is the best tool you have; trade Drac protection all day, especially turn one

-I would drop a Crown of Gold for a third Drogon

-I would drop Pentoshi for a Summons

-In case you didn’t glean this from the above, you don’t have the speed that Crossing decks have; you do have the element of surprise and, probably, the most control over the board.

-Lauren Fitch built a pretty damn good deck, and it’s a lot of fun to play

PROPS

-To all of my opponents on the weekend. You were large, majestic starfish in a void of nerdom.

-To all of the wonderful people I got to meet at the Con: Keb and Wamma, the Rosarios, Aaron, Matt, Luke, et al.

-To northeast Thronesers for your support: Chris L., Lauren and Britt, Roy, Mark A., Marc B., Tim, Dennis, et al.

-To Lauren and Britt for the list

-To Mark A. and Geoff for the tickets to these events!

-To individuals at FFG who are working as hard as they can

SLOPS (I usually reserve all of the slops for myself but I have a few extra this time)

-To whoever farted near me at the start of round five of joust. That was rancid. Are you okay?

-To FFG for general sloppiness in many areas. Let’s do better.

-Me for writing this crap for hours on end

-Me for play mistakes

-Me for procrastinating in deckbuilding

-Me for babbling about being tired

One more thing:

Team Boston. Fuck off.