Hey-la, My Boyfriend's Back (BERIC VOLTRON w/ Report)

Card draw simulator
Odds: 0% – 0% – 0% more
Derived from
None. Self-made deck here.
Inspiration for
None yet.

captainslow 1005

A lovestruck Syrio sang the Red Keep a serenade
Kneeling everybody low with the keyword that he gave
Finds the Lord of Lightning, stealths into his cave
Says something like, “You and me, Beric, how about it?”

Beric says, “Hey, it’s Syrio. About time we made a mil attack.”
Braavosi’s got an action window to sing, “Hey-la, my boyfriend’s back.”
“We shouldn’t come around here, playing bad agendas like that.
Anyway, what they gonna do about it?”

Sweet Beric, in 1.0 you made them cry.
You said, “I’ll hold all your power, when they Valar I won’t die.”
But seventh place for us. You know Bara’s not strong.
I’ve now realized, it’s just that the house is wrong, Sweet Beric.

Wow, who knew Dire Straits were such big AGOT LCG fans, eh? Love that tune.

G’day, Mates of Thrones! Coming at you with a sweet retro-inspired list from Down Under.

That’s right! I’m in Sydney, Australia for a little while on a “Working Holiday Visa.” It turns out not everybody here is an exiled convict, and some folks even play our favorite cardboard flopper! However, the snakes, spiders, and cockroaches here are enormous, so it’s not all fun in the sun, okay?

Story Behind the Deck

I was a little early to a weekly meetup, so I decided to deconstruct a shitty Bara Fealty deck I had left over from a plots-chosen-at-random league night. As I contemplated the nihilistic overtones of the design of the Peekaboo Bastard, I arrived at a conclusion that many of you had already reached: Bara is boring.

Hmm, I pondered. Is there any rescuing this jaundiced faction from the dungeons of IKEA? Perhaps some of their new cards could save them. Let’s see…

River Paddler? Boring.

Bend the Knee? Conditional, more of the same.

Patchface? Too good.

King's Blood? Leeches are disgusting and to be avoided at all costs.

What about neutrals, then? Unbridled Generosity, no, Faceless Man, no… Beric…oh my sweet Lord of Light, he has the motherflipping Rhllor trait?! A star is born.

It was then that I decided to resurrect Beric like the post-rehab 80’s hair metal rocker that he is inside.

Bara is a solid faction for a Beric Voltron build. You’ve got the strength pump/burn protection of Red God's Blessing, Bob's Mallet, The Grand Milk Guzzler, and a total lack of impactful loyal characters to take the sting out of Brotherhood’s drawback.

I built the first draft of the deck in seven and one quarter minutes. The inclusions of Widdlepinger, Appointed, Barristand, and Grumpy Stannis left me with a near-complete Small Council, so The Council Consents went in. Extra Voltron stand please!

“Hey, Adem, you’re a masochist who ‘enjoys’ Bara. Take a look at this sweet deck,” I taunted, handing it over to Aussie Organizer Extraordinaire and Cool Dude Adem Kolar.

“Stannis is loyal,” he said after flipping through.

“Hey f&#k you!” I replied coolly, taking back my cards.

I replaced Stannis with two Eunuchs and a Syrio and got to playing.

Two things quickly became apparent. First, the Small Council bullshit wasn’t working. Second, Brotherhood’s most dynamic application is going first and using intimidate, especially if you have a character that you can attack with multiple times.

Well, Bara has a few other cards to support the go first/kneel dudes gameplan. The Mallet, for one, and more importantly Maryeah Seaworth. She loves getting cozy with Syrio and the Scouts (new band name, called it, it’s mine). Between Marya, Brotherhood’s Intimidate/Stealth, and the old-fashioned kneel tech, I could go first, kneel dudes, and not fear retaliatory challenges.

The deck was pretty fun in testing, at least when it got rolling. 18-strength tricon stealth renown intimidate Beric with Seal? It’s pretty strong. When he isn’t plagued by Bad Dreams, set on Fire, or addicted to Drugs, that is. Even if you lose, it’s hysterical. And nobody will think you’re a bad player, only a silly one!

Some Notes on Card Choices:

Summons: I had this at 2x for a while. You really need Beric to make the deck shine. Or sometimes, you need a Syrio for your Marya, or an Asshat Priestess to trigger Mel, or Milk Guzzler. I dropped one for a Confiscation, because a Milk on Beric on a Valar turn sucks.

Varys’s Wheel of Fortune: Everybody plays Coppers. Get to the point where you can hit Coppers with this every time. This deck needs the stats on this plot, particularly the initiative.

Panhandle Patsy: To cancel their Begging Brothers on your Beric, Mel, Marya, Syrio, etc. And their Varys. Decent body to take a Brotherhood keyword in a pinch.

3x Fancy Brooch: Makes Beric sing. Confiscation isn’t as ubiquitous right now. Plus, you can bait it with your Milks.

Table/Chair: Here, more of a “delay things until you set up Beric” include than a win condition itself.

Other than that, I’m sure you can figure it out.

A Pre-Tournament interlude:

Michael H. was fooling around with a Hot Brienne Voltron deck against Nail before things got started. First turn, his Summons to Nail’s Heads on Spikes. Summon Brienne. She gets hit by Spikes.

Fast forward to turn 3. Michael’s Close Call to Nail’s second Heads on Spikes. Uh oh.

Michael stops, shakes his head, and proceeds to recount another story of a regional match where he had been comfortably in the lead, but needed to topdeck a character to close it out. “As long as I don’t draw two Milks, I should be fine,” he had said out loud. What did he draw? Two Milks. “And that’s why I’m the unluckiest Thrones player in the world,” he lamented. Back to the game against Nail...

Michael did not have Brienne in his hand.

Nail has initiative, resolves Close Call first.

Michael draws copy #2 of Brienne into his 8-card hand.

Nail pulls Brienne again for Heads on Spikes.

There you have it, folks. Michael Harris, unluckiest player in the world.

At the Tournament:

“Are you playing Beric Voltron? It’s not going to work,” Adem said.

“No. No it isn’t,” I replied.

Unfortunately, my games on this day weren’t that exciting. They can be pretty quickly summarized:

Game 1 vs. “Strong” Troy Armstrong (Targ/Kraken)
Probably my single worst matchup. Attachment removal, burn, and counter-stealth. Berric’s toys kept getting taken away, but I was generally able to win power challenges and dom. An early Seen in Flames hit his Dracarys!!!!!!!!!!^&!*!!!!!?!, so I could use Beric safely. At the end of time, I was up 11-5-ish in power. Troy was perhaps about to turn the corner after a big Retaliation turn; would have liked to finish this one out. Sorry Troy.

Game 2 vs. David “Zoom Zoom” Zhu (Martell/Rose)
David was playing a combo deck (like Hyper Viper except with Ricasso/Doran’s Game/Olenna’s Informant). I didn’t draw a Milk. (#putalimitonAnnals)

Game 3 vs. “Long” John Hu (Martell Fealty)
Turn one I Summoned Beric but couldn’t play him. Then he got pulled for intrigue claim. I hung around for six plots, but John’s own Iron Throne put me on the clock and I couldn’t find another Beric.

Game 4 vs. Alasdair “Combo Lord” Macdonald (Targ Crossing)
Alasdair was playing a fun jumping Bloodriders concoction. Bouncing Viserys Targaryen (Core) took away all of Beric’s toys, which slowed me quite a bit. I was able to win power challenges and hang around, while he was getting steady crossing power. Eventually, Marya and Syrio joined Beric to bully the board a little bit. He got up to 14 power to my 13 on round six; then he had to Valar. He kept Aggo to my Beric, Syrio, and Marya and conceded.

Apologies, not the most exciting recaps. Two games against dirty, attachment-hating Targ and two that were basically over before they began.

If I keep playing the deck, I might try finding room for a couple of Merling Dicks in case things go south (hehe). Maybe a couple of Nightmares for Ghaston Grey, too. Appointed, the third Blessing, and one Northern Encampment are what I'd look to remove first, I think.

Beric Voltron 2.0...give it a shot and let me know what you think!

-All of my opponents for being koala bears on the communal eucalyptus tree of fun
-Jakob Hultman for bringing my boyfriend back
-The Brotherhood agenda, for being flexible and fun to play
-The Sydney Thrones community for being so welcoming to this Trump-escapee

-Michael Harris for being so unlucky. Just stop it.
-The AWOL limit on Annals
-Me again
-Me for writing so much about losing with a bad deck


imabunneh 307

I would read your tournament reports over championship winning tournament reports any day.

ironlix 1

Ditto @imabunneh

How good was the Seal of the Hand? At 3G, it looked too expensive with your econ.

captainslow 1005

@imabunneh Hey thanks! I will keep writing, then.

@ironlix Seal is fantastic. It started as a 2x and quickly went up to 3. Double stealth (with Marya), double intimidate, double insight, all great. The deck doesn't have a ton of expensive characters, so generally I didn't have any trouble affording it? Give it a shot, though; I might be discounting the times I drew it without drawing Beric.

DrNovak 1

Great piece of work and creativity :)

captainslow 1005

@DrNovak Hey thanks, Doc ;)